The impressively and self-named Malaclypse the Younger (or Mal-2) is really Greg Hill and the equally impressively and also self-named Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst is really Kerry Thornley.
Both had little better to do around 1958 than to have a good old whinge and gripe at any and all established establishments and they were both in agreement that everything, and they meant everything, was a just an unhappy mixture of controlled chaos and falsely imposed order.
One day they were pondering this very paradox at a bowling ally in Whittier, California when things got seriously weird. In one of those blinding-light-moments Greg and Kerry stopped chatting long enough to discover that everyone else in the bowling hall appeared to be frozen in time. Which led our two heroes to the unavoidable conclusion that they had been chosen to tell the world all about, well….. a whole new world!
God, they said, is actually a crazy woman by the name of Eris. Eris, you remember, was the-god-not-invited-to-the-wedding-feast. Turning up anyway she threw in the apple of confusion that started an ungodly spat between Aphrodite, Athena and Hera that gave rise, ultimately, to the first war between men; The Trojan War.
And quite appropriately Eris’ Law states that chaos is increased when order is imposed [See The Law of Eristic Escalation above] and Chaos, says the Discordians in the Great Scheme Of Things, is every bit as important as Order.
For Discordians the world around them is governed by chance, opportunity, and indiscriminate accidents, in short, chaos and any ‘order’ imposed is merely an exercise in containment and in all likelihood, doomed to failure.
The Principia Discordia is the Bible of Discordianism and having got into the twenty first century and evolved through five editions there is no indication of its early demise.
Five is a good number for the Discordians and the Pentabarf gives five laws for all good Discordians to follow or ignore as they see fit. These cover the good news that Hot Dogs Are Good On Fridays and that all good Discordians are Actually Prohibited From Believing Anything They Read.
The symbol adopted by the Discordians is based on the older Yin-Yang shapes-within-a-circle but instead of the teardrop and eye shape they have a pentagram (that five sided figure again) and Eris’s famous apple representing the continuing relationship between chaos and order.
The non-Discordians who still insist on poking fun at the Discordian cause (and that is just about everybody) put forward the argument that ‘reality’ is, well, real and to say that there are different kinds of reality is simply crazy.
But as just about everyone had different ideas of ‘reality’ the boys needed no more proof. It was all the other people who were crazy.
The word and concept of ‘reality’ was (and still is) the main talking point of Discordian philosophy. If reality comes from the culture that surrounds us then it follows that given any particular subject, different cultures would have a totally different view of it.
Which is a fact so obvious that it seems to have escaped the attention of even the brightest and best of the controllers and policy makers whose job it is to contain all that chaos.
But it hasn't escaped the Discordians. Real reality, say the Discordians, goes deeper that a subjective view of the world through a one small window of perception.
Each view from that narrow and somewhat opaque window shows more the reflection of the viewer than the view. No one view is more ‘real’ than another and the greatest problems occur when one view is forcefully imposed upon another.
Another blindingly obvious observation that, again, appears to have escaped the politicians and lawmakers.
The fact is that the real view from the big clear window shows both natural order and natural chaos exists whether anyone likes it or not.
These natural events can be seen in everything from biological growth to geological evolution and while viruses and volcanoes can bring both chaos and order, it is merely our perception of the results that makes the difference between stability and confusion.
Understanding does not necessarily bring control. Understanding just brings, well, understanding.
And now every time a Discordian joke is told there should be a slight shiver of agreement.
Kerry Wendell Thornley died in November 1998 but [as far as we know] Mal-2 is holding firm to the Discordian principles.
The HODGE AND THE PODGE
The Taoists have their Yin and their Yang. The Christians have
their Good and their Evil. The Libertarians have their Rich
and their Poor. And the Discordians have their Hodge and their
Podge.
The Hodge and Podge are the two sides of the Universe:
the Hodge being chaotic and Eristic, and the Podge being
orderly and Aneristic. They are represented in the Sacred
Chao, in which a pentagon signifies the Podge and a Golden
Apple the Hodge, and are in constant turmoil; although one
side can occasionally gain a temporary victory, neither will
ever defeat the other. Thus in history, the Hodge constantly
overpowers the Podge, and the Podge then responds and overpowers
the Hodge in its turn. According to the Honest Book of Truth,
this is the Eristic Pattern, which "will repeat itself Five
Times over Seventy Three Times, after which nothing will
happen."
As of the present, the Podge is highly ascendent, and just
about everyone, from politicians to cardinals to
televangelists to various other crazies thinks that the way
to solve the world's problems is to introduce even MORE order.
Most of the so-called counterestablishment and even most of
the people who are going on and on about freedom believe this
in a slightly different sense. From the Podge grows bureacracy,
rather pointless laws, the ascendency of organized religion,
the Objectivist Movement, and most branches of calculus.
The all-time (literally) champions of the Podge are the
Bavarian Illuminati.
On the other hand, there are those who realize that the
situation must be brought back into balance by introducing
some good, old-fashioned chaos, which will lead to freer
thinking, less orthodoxy and dogmatism, more expanded minds,
and and a less hilariously inefficient society. Though our
methods are many, they mainly consist of doing very weird
things to break through the crust that has formed over peoples'
mindsets and allow them (or force them) to reevaluate their
worldview. These people are Discordians.
Because of the inherent balance in the Sacred Chao, there is a
sort of built-in defense mechanism - The Law of Eristic
Escalation. The law of Eristic Escalation is:
IMPOSITION OF ORDER=ESCALATION OF CHAOS
For example, if the government were to ban all opinions other
than officially sanctioned ones, an obvious attempt to impose
order, the result would be massive riots (chaos). Most people,
blissfully unaware of this law, attempt to impose order
anyway, with comical results. The most dedicated, such as
Confucius, are considered Eristic Avatars for their trouble.
Unfortunately, the Law does not work for anyone who is aware
of it.
The cyclic reversion of the Hodge and Podge caused by the Law
of Eristic Escalation takes a distinct form, which can be
divided into five seasons: Chaos, Discord, Confusion,
Bureaucracy, and Aftermath.
Finally, the Law of Negative Reversal states that if something
does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in
exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not
happen.
Jesus may save,but only Eris gives you a 23 percent return on your investment
IMPORTANT TIP:
For best reception,make sure you clean out your pineal gland at least
once a month.
DISCORDIA THE BEAUTIFUL
Oh beautiful,on starlit skies
As frogs begin to rain!
For purple dinosaurs,Barney
With Chaos on the brain!
DISCORDIA!DISCORDIA!!,
Eris shine thy grace on me!!!
And crown my wood,
with Robin Hood
From Earl Grey to Chamomile Tea!!!
St.Rufus the Uncouth asks:"If this is tourist season,how come we're not allowed to shoot them?"
It wasn't me.I wasn't there.No one saw me do it,and besides, the D.N.A. evidence was inconclusive.
THE 5 STEPS TO DIVINITY
1:REALIZATION-Before one can truly be divine one must REALIZE that YOU are,and that WE are all divine. 2:UNDERSTANDING-Once REALIZATION has taken place,one must UNDERSTAND what it means to be DIVINE.To answer that one must look long and hard within. 3:WILLPOWER-After UNDERSTANDING one must have the WILLPOWER to do what is necessary to achieve ones DIVINITY. 4:IMAGINATION-Maybe more important than WILLPOWER.IMAGINATION is what gives us that spark of DIVINITY in the first place. 5:WISDOM-The most important aspect of them all.WISDOM is what guides us in using our DIVINITY properly.It also dictates when to use it.With WISDOM there is LOVE,and that is what truly makes us DIVINE.
In the Cards
Yahweh peered at Eris over His cards.
Why do You suppose,'' He asked meaningfully, that I always seem to attract so many ladies? See and raise five.''
The same reason so many men are drawn to Me,'' She replied absently. No one wants to think that their sex is responsible for reality. See Your five and call.''
It has been said that there are many rooms in My mansion,'' Yahweh boomed confidently, But Lo! My house is full. Queens over Jacks, m'Dear.''
Four fives...'' Eris began, then paused. Oh, no,'' She corrected Herself. Oh, that's much better.'' Eris hurriedly switched Her cards around, a smile spreading across Her face. What is the difference,'' She asked excitedly, between two Fools and a King?''
Er,'' Yahweh responded, a bit flustered, A crown?''
Not quite, but that's the guess I would expect from You,'' Eris replied, laying down Her hand, As you can see, there is no difference. Kings over fives, by the way. A winning hand and a new twist on an old puzzle. Oh, I am hot tonight. You've gotten around to the whole night/day thing, right? Oh, You must have or You wouldn't be resting, I suppose.''
Yahweh looked down at Her hand, astonished and even more confused. But there weren't any Jokers in the deck!'' He managed.
Oh, Hon,'' Eris said, smiling a bit sadly as She gathered Her winnings from the center of the table, There are always Jokers in the deck.''
THERE IS NO GOVERNOR ANYWHERE! WE ARE ALL FREE!!!!
All things spring forth from Chaos,all things are shaped by Chaos,
all things shall return to Chaos,all things spring forth from Chaos,all
things are shaped by Chaos,all things shall return to Chaos.......
THE EVOLUTION OF THE FIVE SPIRITUAL AGES OF MAN
ANIMISM...The very earliest human belief system.All things
are inhabited by spirits.The Shaman is the conduit to the realm of
Spirituality.The belief system of early hunter-gatherer societies.Still
shown by certain aboriginal tribes POLYTHEISM...Adopted by early agricultural societies.Many gods
and goddess rule different aspects of reality.Begining of
Paganism.Had it's nadir in Greco-Roman times MONOTHEISM... Began with the ancient Jews,continued with
the Christian and Moslems, came into power with
the fall of Rome.Belief in ONE GOD who is separate from reality but sits in
judgement of all.Rule by powerful priests and feudal kings. ATHEISM...Beginning in the Age of Reason(1500-1959).
There is no God,and the universe is deterministic and mechanical
.Belief in Science and Technolgy.The rise and fall of communism
and Fascism.,The rise of the Industrial Revolution. PANTHEISM...Began in the Information Age(1900-?)The Belief that
"God(dess) is "all things.The Rise of computers,the Internet,chaos
theory,quantum physics,space travel,Discordianism.
Each progression is hindered by rigid belief in the superiority of the
step that you happen to be in at the time.Only when we realize that
each step is as important as the last,then we will reach true spiritual
evolution,and be one with ERIS
CONSTITUTION OF THE UNIVERSE
Article 1
No person, group of persons or government may initiate force,
threat of force, or fraud against any individual's self or
property.
Article 2
Force may
be morally and legally used only in self-defense against those
who violate Article 1.
Article 3
No exceptions shall exist for Articles 1 and 2.
OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST ON:The Birth Of the Erisian Movement
Young Omar became involved with the vagaries
and intricacies of the Lady Eris, but he was perhaps the first
person, at
least in the United States, to use the word Pagan to describe
past and
present nature religions. Some have actually alleged that
entire
Neo-Pagan movement is an Erisian Plot (see Robert Anton
Wilson and Robert Shea's ILLUMINATUS) .... " (pp. 276-77)
"In a way, it's ridiculous to even talk seriously about the
Erisians, a
group, or collection of groups, that has called itself a
'Non-prophet
Irreligious Disorganization' that is 'dedicated to an advanced
understanding of the para-physical manifestation of Everyday
Chaos,' and
at other times has stated, 'The Erisian revelation is not a
complicated
put-on disguised as a new religion, but a new religion disguised as a
complicated put-on.'
"The Discordian Society was founded (if one can call it that) in 1957 (or
1958 -- even this primary confusion has never been cleared up) by Greg
Hill (Malaclypse the Younger) and Kerry Thornley (Omar Ravenhurst) ....
Omar Ravenhurst went on to form his own Erisian organization, the Erisian
Liberation Front (ELF) ...." (pp. 304-5)
Other Erisian cabals formed. At one point there were rumored to be more
than twenty, although some may have had a membership of only one. Since
radical decentralization is a Discordian principle, it is impossible to know
how many Discordians there were and are, or what they are doing. Most of
these cabals engaged in various nonviolent, absurdist, revolutionary,
magical and surrealist endeavors. A number of these 'actions' were done
under the name of the supposed 'Bavarian Illuminati,' a rather mysterious
organization founded by Adam Weishaupt in 1776. The Erisian 'Illuminati'
have mostly been the inspirations of someone known as Thomas the
Gnostic. Similar actions were initiated by ELF. Omar Ravenhurst, for
example, invented a Do-It-Yourself Conspiracy Kit, complete with
assortments of stationery bearing dubious letterheads....
"'Eris is an authentic goddess. Furthermore, she is an old one. In the
beginning I was myself as Malaclypse the Younger. But if you do this type
of thing well enough, it starts to work'.... I asked Malaclypse, 'What's Omar
Ravenhurst doing these days?' He said, 'Ravenhurst has recently been in a
state of extreme discord. We were talking about Eris and confusion and he
said, "You know, if I had realized that all of this was going to come TRUE, I
would have chosen Venus."!" -- Margot Adler, DRAWING DOWN THE MOON (pp.
308-312)
c 1986 Kerry W. Thornley(a.k.a. Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst,co-rediscoverer of Discordianism) from: KULTCHA magazine,issue #20
NON SERVIAM
Describing Discordianism
Many attempts have been made to describe Discordianism. Many attempts have
failed. Discordianism is a philosophy. Some have described it as "like
Taoism, but funnier." Some people think that Discordians take serious things
humorously. That is not quite true; rather, we take humorous things seriously.
Discordianism has a lot to do with Order and Disorder(which is what Chaos
uses to manifest itself onto the material plane. The two are considered
equals, more or less. Discordianism isn't about anarchy, the downfall of
government, and breaking stuff, per se. It's about creativity, and that
takes both Order and Disorder. To quote the Principia Discordia (most
wholely holy of texts; the Better Book), "To choose order over disorder,
or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative
and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an
all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this,
one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative
order, and also be willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable
equal to destructive disorder." One camp of Discordians believes there is
enough order in the world as it is, and so dedicate themselves to being
founts of chaos, thus evening up the overall balance. Another camp takes
things more personally, and so looks to strike a balance between order
and disorder within the individual. They're both right.
ERIS
"Seek me not without. Seek me not within."
-Eris
"People are afraid to forget their minds, fearing to fall through the emptiness with nothing to hold them. They do not know that emptiness is not really emptiness, but the realm of real dharma."
-Huang Po
Your feelings of emptiness will stop overtaking you once you learn to stop taking them so personally. Why do we often ruin that which we most need? Because our fears about our emptiness cause us to cling tightly to the things and people we feel will stave off the emptiness. Trying to stop the inherent chaos of life is like trying to stop your blood from flowing. You call upon Eris, yet you maintain the right to have some sense of order and stability in your life? Ha! Just you wait. She'll take your latent feelings of emptiness and blast your mind open with them. And as you cower and shake with fear after crossing that abyss (and letís face it kiddies, the abyss will, as any experienced occultist will tell you, scare the living crap out of you and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or New Aged), you will hear Eris laughing as the bubbles of all your pretensions are popped. Not because She is a bitch, though there is that, but because She handed you freedom on a silver platter, and you didn't see it. So now you get to achieve it the hard way. But, if it makes you feel any better, in time this will all seem funny to you. It could be worse, Eris could have you join the Discordian Society or something.
Eris? Real or unreal, whether you believe in Her or not. She doesn't care. If She wants you, then you are Discordian toast with hodge-podge jam and a side of chaoist bacon. And maybe, just maybe, she'll let you start your own little magical cabal,maybe, or maybe you'll simply go insane, convinced that the Lovecraftian Elder Gods are tormenting you in your dreams (trust me, there are people who believe it), or maybe She'll let you off the hook and back into your boring 9-5 lifestyle with career choices, car payments, mortgages, credit cards, dating services or marriage with kids, televisions, investments, prospects, weekend trips to cabins, and holiday dining with distant relatives you hate, and all the other muck of the yawning dominant govermediated society,but why? Why in Tartarus would you ever want to go back to doing that willingly, unless it is some kind of deep-cover operation for spreading the chaoist conspiracy. Face it folks. It is a conspiracy and there is nothing wrong with doing so. But anyway,Eris will not let you off the hook after She has so softly kissed you on the cheek and blew all the order out of your mind, all the while convincing you that you blew your own mind and that there was no difference in whether you thought you or She did it.
And there is this. If all else fails, Eris has Her Bitchslap. (Refer to previous sermon/rant doc. #23-17235;liah sire skiddoo. If you canít find it then you may consider the possibility that your only reason for being alive is to serve as a warning for others.) You can call upon Eris and believe what you wish about gods or goddesses (no offense to those deities who disagree with this, of course). Eris may respond. She may not. You may find yourself doing all sorts of silly little things to be able to see Eris, but chances are you already have by that point. And for that you are lucky. Eris doesnít exactly go around choosing everyone. She picks Her special crazies and lets the others be as they wish. So stop your whining about how hard it is being Discordian or being touched by Eris.
"In a world of caterpillars, the butterfly is a dangerous enemy of the way things are."
-Phil Hine
And there is the little fact of Eris existing whether you want Her to or not, regardless of what you may believe. Thus the Discordian Society, the ultimate religious body of dismembered parts running around causing society to drift towards something or other. Some religions have deities that promise "satisfaction guaranteed". Buddhism will tell you that you are on your own, to suck it up and get over yourself. Eris won't guarantee a thing, and yet you will strangely find yourself more satisfied and laugh-happy than most other people. If a religion is not a joke then it is a sham. And if you don't want to joke around then what does that make you? Go watch a video or something.
Eris, as I have said many times in the past, will slap the crap out of you. But it is your fault for carrying all that crap inside anyway. If you want to complain about it, too bad. Sheís not listening to your babble. Go start a cause or something. And if you should happen to believe that you know what Discordianism is, then the joke is on you, silly dupes. Itís not about freedom. Itís not about slavery. Itís not about being cool, chic, avant garde, or better than the so-called political people. Itís not about this. Itís not about that. It starts with Eris. All the rest is in your head. You are confused because you think. Good. Keep getting confused. Keep doubting. Keep questioning. And remember,Eris may not want you after all.
